Retreat: According to vocabulary.com, the noun retreat means a place you can go be alone, to get away from it all.
My first official retreat was a Mindfulness Retreat at Camp DeWolfe, Long Island in June 2016. Although this retreat was an introduction to my world of mindfulness, I learned more about the power of silence. On our last day, we were instructed to wake up and be silent. That meant to wake up with the other 6 people in our cabin and proceed through the day without speaking. The next morning we all (22 females, 1 male, and our instructor) went to breakfast and sat down with each other in silence. We were told not to speak until later in the day. Although I thought this exercise would be painful, it was quite the opposite. The first thing I noticed was the alleviation of pressure to fit in with conversation. We all came to the retreat alone and with that was the fear of not fitting in. In silence, I did not have to worry about when and if I should chime in to conversation. What if I was the annoying girl? What if I was the awkward girl talking? Not this time…we all ate quietly and just observed the silence.
The next thing I noticed were the sounds of silence. When you are not focused on conversation, you can really hear all the sounds around you. I can remember hearing the forks and knives hitting the plates and the sounds of chairs moving on the floor. They were sounds I never really focused on before.
What I noticed most importantly was how great the feeling was being silent and alone. After breakfast, I walked down to the beach where I sat and appreciated the view of the water and sky. It felt good to not have anywhere to be and just sit being mindful.
That first retreat taught me so much about myself and it allowed me to appreciate the moments I am alone.
This year was my first Mother’s Day. The Wednesday before my boyfriend surprised with an overnight hotel package for me. It was literally the best gift ever! After school the following day I went to the hotel. I sat alone at the bar and had a glass of wine. I then was pampered at the spa (my boyfriend set that up as well) and later had dinner in the restaurant, once again alone. It was so relaxing! I fell asleep in an awesome comfy king size bed, woke up the next morning and went to school. Haha, that makes me laugh.
As I write this, I am on yet another retreat. This retreat is at Manhattan College where I have the opportunity to take a math class (AP Statistics in which I teach) and stay on campus from Monday thru Friday. I am sitting on the stairs on a gorgeous night in front of my dorm room observing my senses. 5-4-3-2-1. 5 things I see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can hear, 2 things I can smell, and 1 thing I can taste. I feel peaceful, I wonderful sensation. I feel thankful.
Challenge yourself to be silent…on purpose. There’s a difference between being silent because you don’t fit in and being silent and just being in the moment, no matter how you feel. I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone and it feels quite nice. I think I’ll continue this journey we call life.
Love and Peace, Me