Hello, today is 1/2/06. Happy New Year. So I just watched some Oprah. I’ve been depressed lately. It’s been 4.5 years now. It makes me wonder when the struggle will end. I do not think it will ever. I was very happy in London. I have to understand that life will not be like this forever. I will get over this and be strong and happy. I hate the feeling of thinking that I do not want to live. I feel selfish because nothing is really wrong with me. I know I’m a good person but I’m still in pain and I can’t heal. I want to be happy with myself but I can’t. I don’t want a man to make me happy. I just don’t understand why I can’t be completely happy. I do have some faith. I think once I move out things will become a little easier. I’m going to start NOW to do things. I’m going to:
1- keep a gratitude journal
2- surrender to this unfair life
3-write a letter to family each week
Hopefully this will help me. I really can’t wait to move out! Alright, I need to go. Peace out.