As a teenager, I was very dramatic and thought the worst over the smallest things. As a teacher, I see this all the time in my students. I had a student recently receive a 97 on a test and tell me that God must hate him because he studied so hard and did not get 100! It’s difficult to tell a young person not to worry over minuscule things because in their eyes it’s all they know. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely instances when youngsters have every right to be mad or sad or whatever emotion they are feeling. Myself included, I dealt with some pretty nasty emotions. On 1/7/98, I got my period. I called it “The worst day of my life.” Looking back, it makes me laugh to think getting my period was the worst thing that could happen to me. It’s pretty cool though that I have this day documented. This is how the day unfolded:
Hey- it’s Jan. 9, 98. I’m in Math now. I’m loving school. Yesterday I was on the phone with John and he wrote things about me in his journal. I wonder what they said. Oh well. N-e-way I’m doing not so good in school. I think it is because I’m so lazy. I’m in math now. We are going over hw. I got mine all right so I don’t need to pay attention. We are doing scientific notation. It’s so easy. I gotta go 4 now! Hey, I’m in English now, 5th period. We are watching All Quiet on the Western Front. I already saw it. It’s so boring and the ending is really sad. I hate life so much. I really don ‘t fit in. I’m a 15 year old teenager and I feel and act like I’m 12. So many people think I am 12. Oh well. I talk too much. Nhoj* says I have too many stories but I <3 talking. Maybe if I write it all then I don’t have to tell people, then I won’t talk too much. I have to go now to the bathroom and to write to Christina- well Byeeeee! This is the worst f***ing day of my life. On 1-7-98, Wednesday, at the age of 15, 10th grade, right after 5th period just about 11:44am, I found out that I got my period. Oh I hate it. Oh my God. I’m not in the mood for all this. I’m not going to John’s house this weekend. Well maybe I will but I’m not doing n-e-thing. I’m not going to be a women. I’m not ready. All of this week people have been telling me how tall and big I’m getting. I’m stopping this. I’m working out like crazy! I hate this. I’m not telling my family, only Kerry, Catherine, and Sammy. Not even Rachel or Trisha. I hate this so much. I don’t know what to do. I’m going to cry. I wish Margot and Rachel weren’t in town. I can’t wait till they leave again. How am I supposed to hide this from my family? When I’m upstairs? Oh God, help me please. I hate all this. This is my worst day of my life. I’m going to kill myself. I’m not going to go out with John. I’ve made up my mind. I’d kiss him but I don’t think I’d do anything else. I’m not ready and I’m not going to pressure myself to do anything. Me and John are just not made for each other. He’s not prude and I am. He’s hot and I’m not. John can go for Melinda or Leslie, not me. Not like he actually wanted or liked me. Oh well! I can’t believe I’m a woman. I’m hating my life now.
*Nhoj is John backwards. Betcha couldn’t crack that code! My friends and I referred to these secretive names often. Although in this entry I wrote John and Nhoj sooo not really seeeing the sense in that…🤷♀️
P.S. And the daytime Drama Emmy goes to…